The only thing I take seriously is my Freedom. And Bacon.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Funny Flathead Beacon Police Reports! #4 - Holiday Edition.

From the Flat Head Beacon - the "best" of the police blotter - and seriously, this one has got to be the best of them all: 12/20/2011: 9:18 a.m.
A Polebridge man reported that a contractor he had hired thumped a tool in his hand then got this look in his eye, like he’d seen “on television dramas before someone is about to hurt the other person.” The man suggested that deputies run a “mental packet” on the contractor, “rattle his cage” and put a spotlight on him.

12/12/2011

5:38 p.m. A man on Anderson Lane reported that he found three stray horses and two miniature donkeys. He successfully herded them into his pasture.

8:45 p.m. Deputies responded to an incident in a pink trailer involving an excitable mother and daughter. The two were separated after mutually accusing one another of abuse. There was no evidence that anyone was actually abused.

10:01 p.m. The mom from the pink trailer called from her bathroom to report that her daughter was cursing at her and following her around the trailer.


12/13/2011


12:45 p.m. A tenant at a trailer park on Whitefish Stage reportedly saw another tenant steal wood from his neighbor. The accused tenant did not confess, but did offer to give his wood to the neighbor if it would make things right.


3:14 p.m. A woman on First Street West reported that a young, machete-carrying man in a pinstriped jacked beat up her boyfriend.


4:33 p.m. A disgruntled man on North Springwood Road said a young boy ran in front of his vehicle then flipped him off. The man tried to track down the kid but was unsuccessful. 

5:33 p.m. A wolf, or possibly a dog, was seen hanging out at a business in Whitefish.


12/14/2011


3:37 p.m. An employee at the Dollar Tree reported that someone repeatedly grabbed a drill off the shelf and attempted to return it for cash at the front counter. (wow, I didn't realize they sold drills at the dollar store...LOL)


12/15/2011


11:28 a.m. A disappointed mom on Jellison Road in Columba Falls reported that her son brought home a couple of 13-year-old girls.


2:03 p.m. Three dogs habitually gather at a Marion woman’s house and tear up her yard.

4:02 p.m. An obnoxious drunk in a gray hat was refused second helpings at the food bank.

6:34 p.m. A Kalispell woman claimed that a non-English speaking man called numerous times, after being hung up on numerous times, to discuss computer viruses. When she told him she was calling the police he said, “OK, I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

7:52 p.m. Someone reported that their identity was stolen seven years ago.

8:51 p.m. A young, bearded man with strings hanging off his hat was panhandling and trying to sell movies in front of a store on Third Avenue East North.

12/18/2011


2:40 p.m. An unwanted man showed up with a case of beer at a Ranch Lane resident’s house.

9:03 p.m. An intoxicated man from Bigfork reported a possible child abduction he had witnessed earlier that day at the dump. He claimed he saw three children that didn’t look anything like the woman they were with. He also said that he attempted to give the children some Lincoln Logs that he had found while dumpster diving, which angered the woman. He had no other pertinent information.

12/19/2011

1:26 p.m. Someone in Columbia Falls successfully broke up a dog fight with a stick.

8:11 p.m. Someone in Whitefish called 911 to report seeing a woman who smelled of alcohol buy more alcohol. The caller didn’t know if the woman had been driving, but assumed so anyway.

9:16 p.m. A man reported that he was hit by a bus last June

12/20/2011

9:18 a.m. A Polebridge man reported that a contractor he had hired thumped a tool in his hand then got this look in his eye, like he’d seen “on television dramas before someone is about to hurt the other person.” The man suggested that deputies run a “mental packet” on the contractor, “rattle his cage” and put a spotlight on him.

9:24 a.m. A Hungry Horse resident complained that the neighbors built an offensive, anatomically accurate snowman in their front yard. The snowman has since been modified.

2:22 p.m. The freshman at the Bigfork High School lost his marijuana to the principle after making a failed attempt to take it to school.


9:23 p.m. An angry, intoxicated man calling from Fourth Avenue East reported that the neighbor woman was beating her screaming children so loudly that is was “screwing up” his movie. No beatings actually took place, the kids were just loud.
 

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